Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A Vocation Struggle

I can't help but write about this struggle I am facing right now in my life. It was only three years ago that I started at Liberty University. I came here to become a Baptist Pastor. The plans I had for myslef quickly went out the window that first year when I entered into the Catholic Church.

I am glad that I became Catholic and have never been happier! But this year has been very rough for me, because I see my friends who are graduating with me this May and they are planning weddings and applying for jobs at churches (all over the world).

Although I am happy for them, I feel a little sad inside. These were plans that I had for myself. I came to Liberty to become a Baptist Pastor and find a Godly wife who would take part in the ministry that God bless us with.

Eevn though I am Catholic now and applying for the seminary, I still find myself looking at for Baptist jobs. And I try to justify this for telling my friends about the jobs I find. But if that isn't bad enough, I then start looking at for Catholic Youth Ministry jobs. It is almost as if I don't want to give up my plans. I have already had a few interviews this school year and offered one job in Atlanta, but I had to turn it down because I know that these are not God's plans for me.

Don't get me wrong, I am really glad and can't wait to go to the seminary! But, it is hard to know that the plans I have had (getting married, having a family and going right into the ministry) are not His plans.

And this is the hardest thing for me to realize.

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